July 11, 2026
There’s no doubt that soccer has never been more popular in America than right now, in this moment. Hosting the World Cup has made the sport truly relevant, perhaps for the first time, in a country weaned on baseball and football (our football, not theirs). The TV ratings are booming, merchandise is flying off shelves and names like Messi and Ronaldo are trending right up there with Ohtani and Mahomes.
To me at least, this is the perfect time to take a fresh look at the most popular sport in the world.
Over the past few weeks, I have plopped my tired old bones in front of a TV for many hours trying to embrace the glory of soccer. I have processed the many nuances of the game. I have inspected the sport from every conceivable angle, in search of the logic behind its incredible appeal.
And now I have reached a concrete conclusion.
Soccer still sucks.
It is an awful game. Most of the time I’m watching it, I’m sitting there in a state of bewilderment over what I’m supposed to be enjoying. I look into the stands and see passion reminiscent only of the biggest Eagles games. Why? I have watched small children reduced to tears because their home goalkeeper dove right instead of left during a penalty kick. Huh? I have also seen unbridled joy after nerve-wracking wins, the kind of happiness usually reserved for the birth of a child. Really?
I don’t get it. Has the frenzy over hosting the event obscured the reality of what has been happening on the field? Has no one noticed that futbol, as most fans call it, is an ill-conceived competition with politically flexible rules featuring an odd combination of boredom and injustice? Has anyone put down their cellphones long enough to notice that most of every game is devoid of action, featuring a bunch of young guys rolling a ball back and forth?
My son Neil is a soccer coach; he loves the game passionately. So does my son-in-law Nick, who – in a form of torture not unlike waterboarding – has a game on in my beach house whenever one is scheduled, no exceptions. My grandsons Chase and Dylan are members of their high-school soccer team and spend much of their spare time practicing, getting in shape and plotting their next big moves on the field.
It would take a world-class grump to spoil their party. And yet here I am, bitching constantly over every game ending 1-0, over a clock that never actually tells you when time has expired, over these supposedly spontaneous celebrations after goals that are clearly choreographed. It is all so very annoying.
I would love to say these zealots see the merit in my distaste for soccer, but that is most certainly not the case. To the contrary, every time I bring up a flaw in the sport, they mock me. I’m outnumbered right now. I’m getting crushed. That’s why I turn to you, my loyal listeners of the past and blog-readers of the present, for some form of vindication.
If I lose my argument with you fine people, well, I’m pretty sure I’ll survive. I have hated Andy Reid for a generation now, and I have won over very few fans despite my unshakable rationale. The role of contrarian is one I have adopted for most of my long life.
OK, here’s why I think soccer sucks.
First, I cannot believe how important acting is for these elite athletes. I mean, every collision, including the most glancing of blows, is followed immediately with the reaction of someone in the throes of a near-death experience. Even the biggest stars like Kylian Mbappe of France are not averse to flopping shamelessly in the hope of drawing a yellow card or, even better, a penalty kick.
I realize the theatrics go hand in hand (or is it feet in feet?) with the officiating. The subjective, instantaneous decisions by the refs are far too pivotal in many soccer games, so the players enhance every hit to get the benefit of the call. When I asked my devout pro-soccer family members if they are OK with all of the acting, they always offer the same response: It’s part of the game. My answer: It shouldn’t be. A player cannot be writhing on the ground in utter physical agony one minute and racing down the field the next. It is comical. And beyond stupid.
Now the worst part: How can two teams slug it out for 60 or 70 or 80 minutes without scoring, only to have one of them handed the game with a free kick after a play that almost certainly would have led to nothing? My son tried to compare penalty kicks to pass interference in the NFL. Sometimes when a defender hits a receiver early, the ball ends up on the one-yard line. Same thing, no?
No. Not at all. Look, I hate the way pass-interference is called in the NFL, but at least most games are not decided by a single score. More times than not, a penalty kick late in a typically low-scoring (or no scoring) soccer game is a death sentence for the loser.
And don’t lose sight of the way the Federation Internationale de Football Association (FIFA) uses Video Assistant Referee (VAR) in a way that lands somewhere between arbitrary and capricious, to use two familiar legal terms. The reviews often happen minutes after the play, with no immediate warning. And then the decisions seem – how do I say this politely? – convenient.
When Egypt put Argentina, and No. 1 World Cup attraction Lionel Messi, in danger of elimination with a goal in the 62nd minute that gave the underdogs a 2-0 lead, the officials took back the second goal long after it slammed into the back of the net. A review of the scoring play turned up an infraction up the field. By many accounts, the bogus ruling was a blatant attempt to keep Messi in the tournament. Ironically, Egypt did record a second goal later in the half, only to collapse by allowing three Argentina scores in the final 11 minutes.
It’s s shame someone can’t use VAR on the officials themselves. A review of their reviewers would turn up more injustices than anything overturned by the actual replay system.
Finally, you’ve got politics. The US lost one of its top players, Folarin Balogun, to a red card late in its win over Bosnia-Herzegovina. Everyone was extremely upset (except for me). No one denied that Balogun broke the rules when he stepped on the ankle of a B-H player, but did the infraction deserve the one-game suspension that is automatic after a red card?
I neither know nor care. The real story here is that FIFA revoked the suspension, but only after it received a call from Donald Trump four days after the game. Hey, I’m not criticizing the president for trying; I’m crying fowl that FIFA caved to the arm-twisting.
Sen. Arlen Specter tried to get Congress to investigate the Spygate allegations after the Patriots beat the Eagles in the 2005 Super Bowl. He even mentioned revoking the championship if indeed New England had cheated. The effort went nowhere. The main argument back then was that you can’t mix politics with sports. Well, apparently in soccer, you can. Go figure.
The bottom line is, soccer is a sport worthy of all of this attention only if you know no better, having grown up embracing all of the imperfections and the boredom and the injustice.
In America, we do know better. Our version of football is so much superior, it is laughable. No wonder the NFL thinks it can take over Europe – if not the entire world – with a sport that invites more than one score a game, that demands violence without theatrics and that is less vulnerable to corruption.
The World Cup final is scheduled for July 19. My only small regret is that the soccer fans who have dipped their toes into our world over the past six weeks will take with them a passion for sports reminiscent of how we feel about the Eagles. I respect these fans for their commitment and their loyalty. I wish they could stay for another month or two, when the only sport that deserves the name football starts back up.
By whatever word you choose to call this sport, I know one thing for sure.
Soccer still sucks.
Some other thoughts, including a rare positive one:
- I have made it a practice not to praise failure, but I must give a nod of appreciation to Flyers GM Danny Briere for trying to steal Leo Carlsson from Anaheim with a massive $90-million free-agent offer. Before that big move, Briere was cautioning fans that the team might have to take a step back after their surge to the second round of the playoffs last season. The GM has always had an annoying tendency to try to lower expectations, on both his roster and himself. But the bold bid for Carlsson says Briere is willing to take big risks now for big rewards. So, bravo, Danny. Now go find a top center like Carlsson who will make the Flyers a true Stanley-Cup contender.
- Is Bryce Harper getting on anyone else’s nerves these days? First, there his delusional reaction after being called no longer elite by his GM, Dave Dombrowski. Then there was that idiotic idea to use metal bats for the Home Run Derby. And most worrisome, he recorded a video of encouragement for a bettor who turned out to be a gambling addict. Harper, who had plenty to say about the “elite” dispute, declined comment on the betting miscue. Oh, and if you’re keeping track at home, Harper is now hitting .261, the exact same batting average he had in his non-elite 2025 season.
- The fastest way to blow a big lead these days for the Phillies is to have Aaron Nola on the mound. I’m not the only one who thinks that. Manager Don Mattingly yanked Nola after 84 pitches and five innings on July 10 with the game against Detroit tied at 2. Many fans, including the broadcasters, were perplexed because Nola has received every benefit of the doubt from the Phillies since they drafted him in the first round 12 years ago. Tim Mayza came in to dazzle the Tigers with his lefty magic. A few minutes later, the Tigers were up, 7-2. So what’s the lesson here? It’s fine to pull Nola early. Just make sure you don’t replace him with a hack like Tim Mayza.
- I am following with rapt interest the hilarious pursuit by the Sixers to sign LeBron James as a free agent. Just last week, top exec Bob Myers said if James wants to win another title, his best chance is in Philadelphia. Ha, ha. If I still had a talk show, I would be on my knees right now begging the Sixers to find a way to make this happen. No, not because I think it would end the 43-year championship drought. Not a chance. But the dynamic between two over-the-hill, self-involved drama queens – James and Joel Embiid – would be gold for sports chatter. If you can’t win it all, at least you should be interesting, no?
- Hey, I’m running into a problem here. I know I’m near the end of the column, but I can’t tell the exact time when I should wrap things up. How do you compute stoppage time in writing?