Dallas Sucks, and Other Thoughts
I was savoring an amazing meal at Scannicchio’s in South Philly with two extraordinary women on Saturday night when our party was crashed by the most insidious of intrusions, a Dallas Cowboys fan.
By rote, I started my well-practiced verbal assault on the lowest form of fan when suddenly I felt the urge to stop mid-sentence. Normally, I would never pause during a patented rant on Jerry Jones, Mike McCarthy, the hillbilly fans and the big blue star.
But this time I did stop because the exercise was pointless. First of all, the guy was actually not as annoying as most of the losers who cheer for the carcass of a once-proud NFL franchise. Second, I was with my awesome wife Gail (a few days before our 25th anniversary) and my favorite former radio co-host, Rhea Hughes. And third, why bother?
I hate to admit this, but the Cowboys are no fun when they stink this bad. The 41-7 embarrassment the next day at Lincoln Financial Field brought the composite score of the two matchups this season to Eagles 75, Cowboys 13.
What is there to argue about with Dallas fans right now? There is no actual rivalry when one team has 75 points and the other has 13. The Eagles have a real chance to win the Super Bowl this season. The Cowboys, well, to quote so many of my WIP callers over the years: DALLAS SUCKS!!
I rolled out one of my trademark lines when speaking (as briefly as possible) with the Cowboy fan. I said my only wish was for the continued good health of the owner, Jones, who, — despite a generation of failure running the most valuable team in American sports — still believes he can produce a champion.
What happened on Sunday at the Linc, at least to me, was not enjoyable after the first few minutes of total domination by the Eagles. I couldn’t summon up the energy to revel in the humiliation of Cooper Rush (who?). Even Mikah Parsons, who never shuts his mouth, became a pathetic figure with his two tackles and zero sacks.
Was he even on the field? Did anyone notice?
Look, it’s always nice to throttle the Cowboys, but the thrill is gone right now because the Cowboys are just so bad, so boring, so doomed to failure for years to come.
Now it’s time for the Eagles to prepare for the biggest games of the season. The Cowboys can do what they do every season at this point. They can get a good tee time and watch better teams (like the Eagles) wage war in the playoffs.
I don’t feel sorry for the Cowboys.
I’m just sorry they aren’t even worthy of our venom anymore.
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I don’t like Nick Sirianni. If you harbor any doubts about my feelings on this matter, just consult any of my blog posts this season. I don’t care that he’s 47-20 as the Eagles head coach. I don’t care that he’s made the playoffs all four of his seasons in Philadelphia.
At 73, I know a boob when I see one.
And Nick Sirianni is a boob.
He struck again right after the loss in Washington a week ago when he exchanged menacing words with one of the best Eagle tight ends of recent vintage, Zach Ertz, on the field after Washington’s 36-33 win.
Ertz isn’t just a terrific player; he’s also one of the class acts in sports, as is his soccer-hero wife Julie.
Sirianni is. . . . well, see above.
Why the dispute? Apparently, our emotional coach didn’t like the severity of the high five Ertz gave him. For some reason, Sirianni also felt compelled to denigrate Ertz’s performance (one catch for 12 yards) in that game. Ertz took exception, and Sirianni’s bodyguard, Big Dom DiSandro, had to intervene before fists started flying.
According to reports, Sirianni apologized to Ertz in a Zoom call shortly after the incident – just as he apologized to Eagles fans earlier in the season when he got into a shouting match on the sideline with them over their booing.
Sirianni tests the theory that winning cures all ills. He is so immature, so emotionally unglued during games, that it’s hard to root for him despite the terrific record.
Now we all get to watch one of the things Sirianni has mastered in his assault on the psyche of Eagles fans. Now we get to see how his timidity ruins potentially great moments for the people who have supported their favorite team their entire lives.
The coach will play coy all week about whether he’s going to let Saquon Barkley take a shot at the all-time single-season NFL rushing record by Eric Dickerson (2,105 yards). Barkley (2,005) needs 101 yards to set a new mark, and it would be even sweeter coming against his former team, the Giants.
It will not happen. You read it here first. Sirianni will never let Barkley get near a set of should pads for that final game. The total Saquon has right now will be his final number for the 2024 regular season. Bet on it.
One thing I know about our overrated coach – can you stomach all of the tributes to Sirianni this week by his media butt-kissers? – is that he loves to rest players. That’s why the starters never play in the preseason, why they rarely play in games late in successful seasons and why he preaches, ad nauseum, the need to preserve the health of his players.
Sports is appealing to so many people for moments just like this, the pursuit of immortality by shattering the most important records. Barkley is on the cusp of that achievement, with only one person able to stop him now – his own coach.
And this is just one more reason why I will always believe that Nick Sirianni is a boob.
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Some other thoughts as the Eagles approach the unofficial bye this week before the playoffs. . . . .
- For a coach who’s so good at building a winning culture, Sirianni seems to be struggling to contain the behavior of Chauncey Gardner-Johnson. The safety’s ejection in Washington last week probably cost the Eagles the game. He rebounded with two big interceptions against Dallas, including a pick-6. Afterwards, he said: “I’ve got to grow the hell up.” If so, he should definitely not use his coach as a role model.
- Hurts will not play against the Giants regardless of his success at clearing the concussion protocols. That means the quarterback will be idle for three weeks before he plays the biggest game of the season. This is not ideal. A less timid coach would get Hurts out there for a few series on Sunday. Sirianni is not that coach, unfortunately.
- Has a legend ever been replaced more smoothly and effectively than the transition from Jason Kelce to Cam Jurgens at center this year? GM Howie Roseman has gotten a lot of moves right in the past few seasons, and drafting Jurgens to replace Kelce is near the top of the list.
- And speaking of Roseman, he finally got it right at the wide-receiver position with A.J. Brown and DeVonta Smith. Remember Jalen Reagor? Nelson Agholor? It took Howie a few tries, but now he’s got the best receiving tandem in Eagles history. Bravo.
- Phooey to LeBron James and the NBA for dissing the NFL’s decision to schedule two games on Christmas Day. Needless to say, the NFL games (on Netflix) blew away the NBA in TV ratings. James’ argument is that Christmas has been the NBA’s day, and the NFL has no right to intrude. Here’s the truth: The NBA regular season is unwatchable. The NFL is awesome. Football is superior in every way to basketball. I hope the NFL has games on every holiday.
- It was my good fortune to work for a couple of years on TV with Bill Bergey, one of the greatest linebackers in Eagles history. With his booming voice and powerful physique, Bill was an intimidating presence. But behind the ominous exterior beat the heart of a sweet and honorable man. His best quality was honesty. I asked him many questions over the years, both on TV and when he served as a guest on WIP, and he never lapsed into player-speak. Bill passed away last week, at 79. His memory will live on, the embodiment of the take-no-prisoners style embraced by Eagles fans. RIP, Bill Bergey.